Feet of Clay
What’s happened to the slovenly Watch of earlier years? Apparently it’s been swept away in a tide of new recruits, more money – Detritus even has a proper breastplate – and long, angry letters from members of the public. The new Watch, complete with 30 watchmen (human, dwarf, troll and gargoyle) who drink enough to keep an entire pub in business, now tackles so many offences that its members have abbreviated the most common to numbers to save time. Operating from Pseudopolis Yard, Dolly Sisters, Chittling Street and Long Wall watch houses, this expanded force is repairing the guttering, grumbling about the food in the canteen, receiving complaints from the Silicon Anti-Defamation League, installing lockers for its staff – oh, and solving some crimes.

For instance, the two murders and the poisoning of the Patrician – well, there’s no shortage of suspects for that one, at least. With the help of their new dwarf forensic alchemist, Cheery Littlebottom, and the marvellously advanced doing-nothing-whatsoever skills of Downspout, the Watch sets out to shed some light on the mystery. Nobby becomes a reluctant nob, Colon gets well and truly up the creek without a paddle, Angua denies eating Cheery’s second cousin and Vimes goes on a trip down memory lane as they unravel the mystery.



Carrot is the only captain in the Watch
Vimes plans to hire a couple of zombies to patrol on King’s Down and put lots of dwarfs in the Park Lane night patrol
The entire Watch’s petty cash had, until recently, been kept on a shelf in a tin marked ‘Stronginthearm’s Armour Polish for Gleaming Cohorts’
The Watch keeps a guard on the Ankh Bridge
A Watchman can spend eight hours on the street
They recently began patrolling the Shades
The ‘search warrant’ is a sledgehammer
Vimes is given a pay rise of 10 dollars a month
Vimes’ office upstairs in Pseudopolis Yard
There are spiked railings around Pseudopolis Yard
Sergeants wear breastplates with embossed muscles
Commanders of the Watch don’t carry a bell
Constable Downspout earns five pigeons a week
Corporals earn thirty dollars a month plus five dollars living-out allowance
Feet of Clay