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Jingo quotes page 1
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The sinking of continents is usually accompanied by volcanoes, earthquakes and armadas of little boats containing old men anxious to build pyramids and mystic stone circles in some new land where being the possessor of genuine ancient occult wisdom might be expected to attract girls. ‘Troll brains don’t work in der heat. If I was to go to Klatch,’ said Detritus, his knuckles making little bink-bink noises as he dragged them over the cobbles, ‘I’d be really stoopid.’ ‘Detritus?’ ‘Yessir? ‘Never go to Klatch.’ ‘Nossir.’ Selachii thumped the table. ‘Very well, then, by jingo!’ he snarled. ‘Alone!’ ‘We could certainly do with one,’ said Lord Vetinari. ‘My mum’s uncle was a sailor,’ said Nobby. ‘But after the big plague he got press-ganged. Bunch of farmers got him drunk, he woke up next morning tied to a plough.’ ‘Well, that’s a nice start to the day,’ said Carrot. ‘Thank you, yes, I wasn’t hurt,’ said Angua. ‘It makes it all seem worthwhile, somehow.’ ‘Just my hair messed up and another shirt ruined.’ ‘Well done.’ ‘Sometimes I might suspect that you don’t listen to anything I say,’ said Angua. ‘Glad to hear it,’ said Carrot. ‘Anyone of sergeant rank or above can recruit, sir,’ said Carrot, as if reading his mind. ‘It’s in the General Orders. Page twenty-two, sir. Just below the tea stain.’ Coppers learned to be good at screams. There was to the connoisseur a world of difference between ‘I’m drunk and I’ve just trodden on my fingers and I can’t get up!’ and ‘Look out! He’s got a knife!’ Vimes know the place as Mundane Meals. Nobby Nobbs had said that Goriff had wanted a word that meant ordinary, everyday, straightforward, and had asked around until he found one he liked the sound of. Suddenly no one wanted to explore any more, just in case they found something. At times like this the ancient traditions of the sea that unite all mariners should come to the fore and see them combine in the face of their common foe, the hungry and relentless ocean. However, at this point Mr Arif hit Mr Jackson over the head with an oar. …I read him his rites, whereupon, he said up, yours copper. Sgnt Detritus then, cautioned him, upon which he said, ouch… ‘You are due at the University in half an hour. Lady Sybil has vouchsafed to me that if you are not there she will utilize your intestines for hosiery accessories, sir.’ ‘Well, we shall miss you, Willikins.’ Others may not, he thought. Especially if they have time for a second shot. And there was nothing finer than a wizard dressed up formally, until someone could find a way of inflating a Bird of Paradise, possibly by using an elastic band and some kind of gas. …invented by Denephew Boot… [Footnote: His parents, who were uncomplicated country people, had wanted a girl. They were expecting to call her Denise.] ‘One of the advantages of horses that people often point out,’ said Vetinari, after some thought, ‘is that they very seldom explode.’ ‘But the way you put it, these major achievements were some considerable time ago…’ Lord Vetinari sounded like a man straining to see a light at the end of the tunnel. ‘Certainly! I would be astonished if they haven’t made considerable progress!’ said Leonard of Quirm happily. ‘Ah?’ The Patrician sank a little in his chair. It had turned out that the end of the tunnel was on fire. ‘Have a quiet look at things. Get to the bottom of things. And trust no – Trust practically no one. All right? Except trustworthy people.’ ‘Can’t you just say, “You got lots of cash and land but I’ve got a big sword so divvy up right now, chop chop?” That’s what I’d do,’ said Corporal Nobbs, military strategist. ‘“Chapter Fifteen, Elementary Necromancy”,’ she read aloud. ‘“Lesson One: Correct Use of Shovel…”’ 'He just kills people for money. No style. Snowy can't read and write.' [Or so it says in my copy. In later editions it was apparently changed to 'Snowy can barely read and write', to agree with the later evidence of the notepad found in his room.] ‘Who the hell was he?’ [Snowy Slopes] said. NOT SOMEONE YOU KNOW? said Death. ‘Well, no! I don’t know many people who cut my head off!’ ‘Oh, hello, Littlebottom,’ he said. ‘What now? Don’t tell me – someone’s set fire to the Klatchian embassy.’ ‘All right, sir,’ said the dwarf. She stood uncertainly in the middle of the alley. Ankh-Morpork no longer had a fire brigade. The citizens had a rather disturbingly direct way of thinking at times, and it did not take long for people to see the rather obvious flaw in paying a group of people by the number of fires they put out. ‘Excuse me, who are you?’ said Vimes, blinking with tiredness. ‘I don’t have to tell you and you can’t beat it out of me!’ said the man, sticking out his chest. ‘Oh, thank you for telling me,’ said Vimes. ‘I do hate wasted effort.’ I know how to ask for vindaloo, he thought. And it turns out that’s just a Klatchian word meaning ‘mouth-scalding gristle for macho foreign idiots’. |
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Jingo quotes page 1
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